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List of words to never use in a song:

  1. Waffle

  2. Exosphere

  3. Acquiesce

  4. Ionized

  5. Pyrrhonistic

  6. Maud'dib

  7. Narnia

  8. Stigmata

  9. Elephant

  10. Chifforobe




Beloved Fans,

It looks as though 2017 will end on a lower note than we were expecting. We have, by the time you are reading this, not been chosen to win a Dallas Observer Music Awards award and complimentary whiskey [an ironic double-kick in the gonads since we (the losers) are the ones with a legitimate reason to drink it]. However, like a Phoenix, out of great sorrow comes something new, and important lessons have been learned:

  • Instead of gifting crates of Sriracha sauce, a free trip to St. Lucia - all expenses paid - may be more appropriate and appreciated.

  •  When buying someone beverages in exchange for USPFs [un-specified potential favors], go with upper shelf options -- and more importantly check if they have any allergies BEFOREHAND.

  • If thrust into the role of matchmaker at someone’s behest…. Don’t.

  • Bison burgers are not even remotely vegan.

  • If it can happen to Julius Caesar, it can happen to you.

  • Avoid making purchases (i.e. 2016 Mustang Convertible, Minimoog Model D) in advance of expected monies.

  • Don’t guess someone’s political affiliation (and then make applicable jokes, puns, bombastic lampoons, etc) based on the style of hat they’re wearing.

So with these nuggets of wisdom imparted, Bri and I bid our farewells, tails between legs, humiliated to the utmost, dicks in the dirt, ashamed to ever show our defeated faces in the DFW metroplex or even the contiguous US ever again.

In fact, we send these goodbyes from the USS Insipid, en route to rendezvous with our pal and sherpa Mr W Case out somewhere between Micronesia and Bikini Atoll, at which point we will head for greener/more Brazillian pastures. Who knows, we might even finish our sure-to-be mega pop hits “I Don’t Do Debit” and “I’m Not Really A Socialist (But Baby I Will Be Tonight)”

Word's the word word-for-word.
It's been real.

Hasta la Ciao,
El Nig & B Sarge

...Ain't it just too much?

This is, right here, and right now, most simply another attempt at achieving absolute autonomy (19 points for alliteration!) w/r/t the main page layout. In this instance I am typing a relatively beefy paragraph in the Excerpt section, found under the Options tab of the "edit post" dialogue box. Because there is no purpose to this blurb, essentially this will be a litany of mundane musings, etc., etc...



maybe put a large title here like:


"This is how they did it."

— Unknowable






Photo Not By: Yiftach Belsky

"Absolutely Brilliant"

-  BBC Radio 13

"Impressive Crazy
Horse-via-REM effortlessness"

-  Wix Lorem Ipsum

Groovilicious. We're not doctors, but we can definitely fix whatever it is that's wrong with you. We fully understand the benefits of a healthy, balanced, wholesome groove, an uncompromised groove, a GROOVY groove, in a way that can be harvested and mass reproduced at min-cost labor warehouses in a place not unlike southeastern China for your benefit. Do you wake up feeling groggy? Are there blood clots in your leg? We have just the groove for you. Has your significant other departed in the middle of the night with your car, kids, dog, and favorite tie left in the backseat, leaving behind only a note that says "There is one last potato salad in the fridge. I know how much you love potato salad. Which is a lot more than you love me. Goodbye, Max."? Are mysterious hives breaking out across your body? Headaches? We've got backbeats that'll straighten even the most scoliosissed spine. One of our grooves even stopped a speeding train from making oatmeal out of a midwestern family. Does your life feel empty? Unsatisfied? Like there must be something more? Well there is! And it's funky.

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